OK so here's the thing: I'm
scared. I'm scared that despite my best efforts and despite all good
intentions, I am going to fail completely to get my weight under 80kg. I
have basically been this weight (and above) since I was 13 years old
and the only time I ever dropped below it was when I had anxiety issues
in fifth form that meant that I hardly ate anything for a couple of
months. I think the lowest I got to was about 75kg, but it all happened
so quickly and so unhealthily that as soon as I started eating again it
all piled back on. So in my head, I'm convinced that without something
seriously dramatic and possibly life-threatening, I won't be able to get
under the magic threshold. And if I do, I certainly won't be able to
maintain it.
This,
of course, is ridiculous. It's illogical, not founded on any sort of
facts or nutritional science and will, in about 4-5 weeks, be PROVEN
wrong. But it looms large, this fear of mine, and so it is far better to
out this lurking demon, to bring it kicking and screaming into the
plain light of day for all to point and laugh at, than to let it fester
and grow in the dark recesses of my brain. Even though I won't quite be
rid of it until such time that I have not only gone below 80kg but
smashed through that barrier and stayed that way - it's still good to
get it out there.
But
then there are days, much like today, when this fear gets the better of
you. I stepped on the scale this morning at the meeting and... nothing.
I'd not lost a single gram. Nada. Zip. Sweet diddly do. And of course,
the first thing that runs through my head is "Oh, well. That's it. I'm
obviously at the end of it and cannot lose any more weight," which I'm
well aware makes zero sense but if you give these negative thoughts a
mental inch and they will occupy your entire life. There's nothing for
it but to just keep on trucking and see what happens next week. I have a
theory that since it's a specific time of the month that this might be
due to water retention (ah, the joys of the feminine body!) but this
remains to be seen. Until such time that there is further proof, Logical
Kath will battle it out with Fearful Kath in the back of my mind. Roll
on next Wednesday.
Starting weight (30/01/2013): 86.2kg
First week weigh in (05/02/13): 85.3kg (-0.9kg)
Second week weigh in (13/02/13): 84.4kg (-0.9kg)
Third week weigh in (19/02/13): 83.6kg (-0.8kg)
Fourth week weigh in (27/02/13): 83.6kg (no loss)
Showing posts with label weigh in. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weigh in. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Weigh In Wednesday: Flexible structure
I had to reschedule my meeting this week because I was absolutely up to my eyeballs in appointments and stuff to do. I had four job interviews this week (two of which were for the same job) so some things had to be shifted, including my WW meeting. I'm committed to getting along to these meetings every week to keep myself on track and see how well I have (or haven't) done on the scales so I'm hugely grateful that WW allows flexibility in meeting attendance where necessary. So on Tuesday 19th, I hopped on the scales and found to my great delight and relief that I had lost another 0.8kg. This brings the running total to 2.6kg.
Starting weight (30/01/2013): 86.2kg
First week weigh in (05/02/13): 85.3kg (-0.9kg)
Second week weigh in (13/02/13): 84.4kg (-0.9kg)
Third week weigh in (19/02/13): 83.6kg (-0.8kg)
I was very happy with this result because it proved to me that this was not just some fad or gimmick. It actually works - follow the programme and the kilos will, eventually, drop off. One by one, gram by gram, I'm getting lighter and lighter. I know, I know, this shouldn't really come as a surprise to me. I have read the success stories on the website and in the magazines and I personally know two people who have lost (and kept off) incredible amounts of weight. But I am surprised. I am feeling genuinely flummoxed because for the first time in my entire life, weight loss isn't a battle. It doesn't feel like a horror movie where you're screaming at the girl on screen (yourself) don't go in the kitchen, that's where the chocolate is.... Oh God, don't eat it! No! Nooooo!!!! It doesn't feel like a drag - you know the scenario where you're weighing yourself every other hour to see what the results are because you're SO HUNGRY goddamnit, that you must have lost half a kilo in the last 30 minutes? It doesn't feel like any of these things. It just feels like life, with a few adjustments.
I've been thinking about how on earth this works. What's the trick? How can something that once felt so impossible now be happening with a normal amount of effort? Personally, I think it's a combination of the flexibility within the programme and the structure of it. Whilst flexibility and structure aren't necessarily things that you might think work in conjunction, here they do. For structure you have the weekly meetings, the scheduled weigh in date, and the set daily points allowance. For flexibility you have the freedom to swap to a different meeting either permanently or temporarily as circumstances dictate, and you have the weekly "stash" points.
And it's these stash points which are really rocking my world. I currently eat 30 points per day but I have a walloping 49 extras up my sleve for the week - which I can nibble into each and every day or save up and blow on one particular day when the need arises. For example, this weekend just gone was the hen's party of one of my oldest and dearest friends, Coralee, and to send her off in style her bridesmaids had organised a fully catered dinner. Master Chef styles. Seriously, the food this (self-taught!!) guy designed, cooked and presented to us was something else. I'm something of a foodie channel devotee and I honestly believe that these dishes were good enough to be presented to the industry greats: if Raymond Blanc, Heston Blumenthal and Gordon Ramsay had been joining us, I reckon they would have been impressed. But not only did the food look and taste amazing, there was no calorie spared. You know when the chef says "Don't ask me how many egg yolks and grams of butter are in the sauce" that we are no longer in Points friendly territory. Thank god for the stash I had been carefully hoarding all week.
I do have to be pretty clear on one key point: I don't see the stash as an excuse to have an all-out binge. I was still watching and noting every single thing that went into my mouth (R18-shaped straws are Zero ProPoints, in case you wondered!!) and it all got tracked. I only had one cocktail (a chocolate margarita at a whopping 9 ProPoints, but worth every slurp) and I managed to control myself around the bread basket. It's not a free pass, it's an allowance for life. Sometimes you need to or want to splash out a little. Not having the freedom to do so on other weight loss kicks made me feel trapped and unhappy, and if I did ever allow myself some wiggle room, I never knew how much was too much. With this, I know I have that allowance and I know exactly what that allowance entails. Flexibility and structure, all in one.
Starting weight (30/01/2013): 86.2kg
First week weigh in (05/02/13): 85.3kg (-0.9kg)
Second week weigh in (13/02/13): 84.4kg (-0.9kg)
Third week weigh in (19/02/13): 83.6kg (-0.8kg)
I was very happy with this result because it proved to me that this was not just some fad or gimmick. It actually works - follow the programme and the kilos will, eventually, drop off. One by one, gram by gram, I'm getting lighter and lighter. I know, I know, this shouldn't really come as a surprise to me. I have read the success stories on the website and in the magazines and I personally know two people who have lost (and kept off) incredible amounts of weight. But I am surprised. I am feeling genuinely flummoxed because for the first time in my entire life, weight loss isn't a battle. It doesn't feel like a horror movie where you're screaming at the girl on screen (yourself) don't go in the kitchen, that's where the chocolate is.... Oh God, don't eat it! No! Nooooo!!!! It doesn't feel like a drag - you know the scenario where you're weighing yourself every other hour to see what the results are because you're SO HUNGRY goddamnit, that you must have lost half a kilo in the last 30 minutes? It doesn't feel like any of these things. It just feels like life, with a few adjustments.
I've been thinking about how on earth this works. What's the trick? How can something that once felt so impossible now be happening with a normal amount of effort? Personally, I think it's a combination of the flexibility within the programme and the structure of it. Whilst flexibility and structure aren't necessarily things that you might think work in conjunction, here they do. For structure you have the weekly meetings, the scheduled weigh in date, and the set daily points allowance. For flexibility you have the freedom to swap to a different meeting either permanently or temporarily as circumstances dictate, and you have the weekly "stash" points.
And it's these stash points which are really rocking my world. I currently eat 30 points per day but I have a walloping 49 extras up my sleve for the week - which I can nibble into each and every day or save up and blow on one particular day when the need arises. For example, this weekend just gone was the hen's party of one of my oldest and dearest friends, Coralee, and to send her off in style her bridesmaids had organised a fully catered dinner. Master Chef styles. Seriously, the food this (self-taught!!) guy designed, cooked and presented to us was something else. I'm something of a foodie channel devotee and I honestly believe that these dishes were good enough to be presented to the industry greats: if Raymond Blanc, Heston Blumenthal and Gordon Ramsay had been joining us, I reckon they would have been impressed. But not only did the food look and taste amazing, there was no calorie spared. You know when the chef says "Don't ask me how many egg yolks and grams of butter are in the sauce" that we are no longer in Points friendly territory. Thank god for the stash I had been carefully hoarding all week.
I do have to be pretty clear on one key point: I don't see the stash as an excuse to have an all-out binge. I was still watching and noting every single thing that went into my mouth (R18-shaped straws are Zero ProPoints, in case you wondered!!) and it all got tracked. I only had one cocktail (a chocolate margarita at a whopping 9 ProPoints, but worth every slurp) and I managed to control myself around the bread basket. It's not a free pass, it's an allowance for life. Sometimes you need to or want to splash out a little. Not having the freedom to do so on other weight loss kicks made me feel trapped and unhappy, and if I did ever allow myself some wiggle room, I never knew how much was too much. With this, I know I have that allowance and I know exactly what that allowance entails. Flexibility and structure, all in one.
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